Short Funny Sayings

Funny quotes always amuse us with their cynical ways and witty thought. Few of them are original, whereas a few are simply modified versions of old sayings. Most of them will either make us mock at a certain thing or issue, while there are few others which will teach us few things about life in the most wittiest manner.

• Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families. - Anonymous
• It takes a long time to grow an old friend. - John Leonard
• A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. - Anonymous

• A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! - Doug Larson
• A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer. - Amanda Grier

• Never shall I forget the times I spent with you; continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours. - Ludwig Van Beethoven
• A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. - Anonymous
• Life without a friend is death without a witness. - Eugene Benge

• A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view. - Wilma Askinas
• Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend. - Albert Camus
• We know our friends by their defects rather than their merits. - W. Somerset Maugham

• Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one - C.S. Lewis
• Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice. - Anonymous
• There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. - Benjamin Franklin
• Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. - Jane Austen

• Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected. - Charles Lamb
• An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body. - Jim Hayes
• The road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb
• The best time to make friends is before you need them. - Ether Barrymore

• Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found. - Winston Churchill

• The love of a family is life's greatest blessing. - Anonymous

• No man on his death bed ever looked up into the eyes of his family and friends and said, I wish I'd spent more time at the office. - Anonymous

• All well-regulated families set apart an hour every morning for tea and bread and butter. - Joseph Addison

• God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers. - Jewish Quote
• The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana
• Other things may change us, but we start and end with family. - Anthony Brandt
• Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

• To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway
• The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp
• Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. - Bill Cosby

• People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists. - Jack Dee
• I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben
• There is only one pretty child in the world. And every mother has it. - Chinese Proverb

• I've got seven kids, the three words you hear the most around my house are: Hello, goodbye, and I'm pregnant. - Dean Martin
• If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. - Ann Landers
• Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby', has never tried it. - Anonymous

• The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Jean Kerr

• In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. - Erma Bombeck

If you must have noticed, most of these funny quotes about life have powerful messages, but are presented in a subtle way. I hope these quotes will be in your mind at least for some time. Cheers!