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Hilarious Sayings About Life

Shrinivas Kanade Jul 22, 2020
Some quotes help us look at life through a different perspective. And many among them end up bringing a smile to our face. Here are such hilarious sayings about life that you will enjoy reading.
Every human being in a way is unique because of his/her perceptions and beliefs. You may be talking to your closest friend and at the end of your argument, you will find that he can further it by contributing his own views to it.
For each one, there is always a different angle in every situation. You may be familiar with, "Oh, the glass is half empty!" and "Thank God, the glass is half full!" expressions. These statements very neatly demonstrate how differently two individuals can interpret the same situation.
Following is a list of hilarious quotes and sayings which you will love to read and remember. After reading them, you will find that one can stand back in the heat of a situation and search for what is embossed on the other side of the coin.
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."
~ Mark Twain

"If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one. Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce."
~ Lord Byron

"It a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
~ W. Somerset Morgan
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
~ Fred Allen

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house."
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work till one is better!"
~ Anonymous
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names."
~ Elbert Hubbard

"A lifelong friend is someone you haven't borrowed money from yet."
~ Anonymous

"Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again!"
~ Anonymous
"Birthdays are good for you―the more you have the longer you live!"
~ Anonymous
"I told the Inland Revenue I did not owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside."
~ Ken Dodd

"College is a refuge from hasty judgment."
~ Robert Frost

"It's funny how most activists are pacifists."
~ Craig Bruce

"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."
~ Steven Wright
"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."
~ Groucho Marx

"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific."
~ Jane Wagner.

"Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little."
~ Thomas Aloysius Dorgan
"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."
~ Weinberg

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
~ Bill Watterson.

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
~ J.B. Morton
"Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink."
~ Anonymous

"I found a great way to attract money... work!"
~ Curtis D. Tucker

"I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it."
~ Charles Schulz

"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act."
~ Truman Capote
"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter!"
~ Anonymous

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat."
~ Lily Tomlin
"Two people are never such good friends as when they share a mutual dislike of a third person."
~ Anonymous
"A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling."
~ Arthur Brisbane

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die!"
~ Anonymous
Hope you enjoyed the life quotes presented here irrespective of whether they were wise or sarcastic, doing their best to comment on life.