Funny Relationship Quotes

A good relationship is something that we cannot live without. Be it that undying love of a mother, caring nature of a father, understanding friend or supporting partner, relationships make us worth living each moment with a new expectation and without thinking much about the downside of life.

This story is all about humorous relationship sayings, which will bring out the humor from within and make you smile.

• "When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows." - Frederick Ryder
• "Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off." - Ralph Bus

• "All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems." - Shelley Winters

• "My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates
• "Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla." - Jim Bishop

• "You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty." - Anonymous
• "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." - Groucho Marx

• "Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them." - Ogden Nash
• "Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience." - Oscar Wilde

• "There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that." - Steve Martin
• "Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it." - Anonymous

• "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." - Cher

• "I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."- Anonymous

• "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry
• "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henry Youngman

• "A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing." - Duane Dewel
• "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." - Groucho Marx
• "My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe." - Jimmy Durante

• "The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things." - Jilly Cooper
• "Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control." - Diana Jordan

• "The more I know about men the more I like dogs." - Gloria Allred
• "You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy." - Erica Jong

• "An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
• "Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name." - Joan Rivers

• "If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable." - Russell Bell
• "Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?" - Rita Rudner
• "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." - Albert Einstein

• "Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house." - Jean Kerr
• "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." - Katharine Hepburn

• "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." - Charlotte Whitton
• "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." - Mark Twain

So, this was a compilation of some funny quotes and sayings. I hope they will help you get through a stressful life and bring that smile on your face.