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Quotes About Alcohol

Madhura Pandit Jul 23, 2020
Wish to have some fun on a boring day? Read on through these quotes and sayings about alcohol and enjoy a good laugh!
No celebration is complete without alcohol and no pain or sorrow is actually drowned if not flushed with alcohol. If you too are of the same opinion and a lover of your gin and tonic, then take a look at the following quotes and sayings about drinking alcohol. These funny lines are quoted by famous as well as anonymous authors.

Quotes About Alcohol

If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.
― Joseph Schenck

There is this to be said in favor of drinking, that it takes the drunkard first out of society, then out of the world.
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
― Benjamin Franklin
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts!
― Finley Peter Dunne

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought!
― Samuel Johnson
Alcohol is a very patient drug. It will wait for the alcoholic to pick it up one more time.
― Mercedes McCambridge
Alcohol doesn't console, it doesn't fill up anyone's psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God.
― Marguerite Duras

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers.
― Horace
It is the unbroken testimony of all history that alcoholic liquors have been used by the strongest, wisest, handsomest, and in every way best races of all times.
― George Saintsbury

Funny Alcohol Sayings

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
― Dave Barry

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.
― Mary Pettibone Poole
A good margarita, a good red wine, I like expensive alcohol, but not a lot of it. I don't like to throw up.
― Denise Richards
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
― Henny Youngman

Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.
― Ambrose Bierce
Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
― Sammy Davis, Jr.
I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
― P.J. O'Rourke

Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!"
― Eleanor Early
Man being reasonable must get drunk; The best of life is but intoxication; Glory, the grape, love, gold - in these are sunk - The hopes of all men and of every nation.
― Lord Byron
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.
― Raymond Chandler

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
― Matt Groening
Weren't these quotes funny? Lastly, here is one of the best among all the funny ones:

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
― George Bernard Shaw